Hatsu Basho: Day 2

Sorry for those of our readers who are “in her majesty’s service” but Bertrum ran into some technical issues, so I will be filling in.  I hope my uncouth Yankee prose doesn’t upset your stomach.

Day 2 fell on coming of age day here in old Japan.  Which means I took my daughter out dressed in a kimono to celebrate her becoming an adult, and by that I mean I got drunk with DeGama, smoked, and watched sumo.

NHK: I have a great idea, let’s bring Demon Kaka back and have him do a round table discussion with former Dejima and have him tell us what his “Dream Banzuke” is.

Onaruto(元 Dejima): Fucking hell…

Demon Kaka might have some knowledge when it comes to kimarite, and older rikishi, but he made himnself look like a complete ass today.  After he claimed that Kaio should be awarded the rank of Yokozuna for his efforts I stopped listening.  Although they kept popping these picture in picture boxes of the guy (whose face looks like a marshmallow that 80’s David Bowie shat out) on the screen during bout warmups.  Anyway, down to makuuchui.

Sokokurai vs Toyozakura – This was a bit of a dancing match, with Kokurai absorbing Zachary’s thrusting whilst looking for a belt grip.  When that didn’t pan out… he choked the bitch. 2-0 for Kokurai.

Kokkai vs Tochinonada – Tochi looked like he had the uwatenage locked up from the get go, but Kokkai broke it and got an armlock, Tochi slipped out, Kokkai manuvered out of 2 possible holds, then fell over unceremoniously.  Hoorah. 2-0 for Nada.

Kimurayama vs Toyohibiki – Glad to see Beeker back in the big game, I can finally resume my muppet/chemistry related jokes.  This one went to Beeker hands down.  Kimura had virtually no forward motion at all, pushing and pulling as he backed up.  Beeker “me me me me me me me me me”-ed all the way to oshidashi.

Okinoumi vs Wakakoyu – Here, even Hiro took the piss out of Demon KaKa, noting that Demon Kaka had claimed that Wakakoyu’s sumo was very similar to Dejima’s, to which Dejima commented “no, it’s not really.”  This bout was mostly thrusting out of the gates, which is not Oki’s game.  Casanova took a few too many to the moneymaker and got slapped down.

Kotokasuga vs Mokonami – Mokonami locked up with a strong lefthand outside grip, Koto with a right hand inside.  However, expereience and consistency won the day as Mokonami set up and pulled the first tsuridashi of the day.

Shotenro vs Koryu – Koryu’s henka/hatakikomi was almost as nasty as the look that Shotenro gave him after the bout was over.

Shimotori vs Hakuba – Henkaba lived up to his name at the tachiai, and Shimotori almost ran past him, but recovered decently.  However, the Boil managed to get morozashi on the bird and won the bout.  Goddamn those Birds.

Kitataiki vs Miyabiyama – Taiki did a decent job holding Flubbers off, but was caught off balance, and Miyabi has too much expereince to let that chance slip by.

Wakanosato vs Tokitenku – Tenku came out with a pulling attack, but quickly switched to a nodowa.  All in vein, for Waka is strong, his beltgrip was good, and momentum was in his favor.

Takamisakari vs Tosayutaka – It really looked like Tosayutaka had this one in the bag.  He came out with a strong pushing/thrusting attack, which had Goofy on the ropes, but when all appeared lost Taka nabbed a left hand outside grip, and won by uwatenage.  Not too bad.  After this Taka was taken to the round table room where Demon Kaka was waiting to interview.  Takamisakari interviews are already priceless enough, but the way he was glancing over at demon Kaka reminded me of the kind of look a 70 year old woman would give to a Gwar concert.

Takekaze vs Kyokutenho – This did not look like typical Koyokutenho.  Takekaze barreled into the Mongol and scored morozashi and a pretty tidy katasukashi.

Gagamaru vs Asasekiryu – Asa looked very eager and focused, and Gaga very confused, possibly in need of a diaper change.

Homasho vs Goeido – Homasho showed some good agressive stuff at the tachiai and found himself with a morozashi.  However Goeido resisted at the bales.  It didn’t matter in the end, as Homey never let Goeido regain full balance, keeping him on his side all the way out.  Nice work by Homey.

Tokusegawa vs Tamawashi – Toku opened up with a harite, which left him exposed, Mawashi capitalized and made a push for the bales, but Tokusegawa pivoted and slapped down just before exiting.

Kisenosato vs Aran Aran had a good tachiai, and both rikishi fought for a good positon.  Kise had Aran back out, but Aran shifted to the side and slapped down just as Kise lost his balance.  Not the kind of sumo either rikishi is capable of.

Kotoshogiku vs Tochinoshin – Geek started out with a left hand outside grip, both rikishi traded the upper hand in momentum for a few seconds.  Geek lost the left hand but slammed in close, grabbed the belt, and gaburi-yori-ed the young Georgian out like a bulldozer.

Kaio vs Aminishiki – Henka>Belt>Win>Sneaky  (side note: like his fellow Aomori native, Sneaky got an interview with Demon Kaka, although he looked more bemused than scared/confused/hungry.) 

Yoshikaze vs Harumafuji – Yoshi fought hard despite Ama’s strong tachiai.  The oguruma drove the ozeki to the bales and attempted a throw, which Haruma was able to resist, and used Yoshi’s own momentum to mount a new assualt, this time with morozashi.  Tsuridashi #2 of the day.

Kotooshu vs Tochiozan – Ozan was quick at the tachiai and got a deep morozashi, couple that with good deashi and a mentally weak bulgarian and you get a yoritaoshi for the komosubi.

Kakuryu vs Baruto – Kakuryu had a good start to the bout keeping low and balanced and getting under Bart and keeping him stood up.  Bart answered with some tsuppari to get inside.  I have to give props to Kakuryu for having the balls to go chest to chest with Baruto, but it ended in tsuridashi #3 and a win for team Estonia.

Hakuho vs Toyonoshima – This one was over at the tachiai.  Hakuho’s shoulder blast threw Toyonoshima back and all it took was a very well placed (not to mention powerful) thrust to Toyonoshima’s right shoulder to officially end this one.

Once more appologies for the lateness of this report.  Technical difficulties are what they are.  Me again for day 3.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s