May Technical Examination Basho: Day 4

Chalmers here with all your Day Four action.  Glad to be back after 4 months of fantasizing about large men in mawashi!  Don’t tell Mrs. Chalmers!

Kimurayama vs. Kaisei – Team Brazil opens with the scoop-scoop under the arms of Kimura to get him on his heels.  The hairy Brazilian puts the ‘ol tree-farmer on the bails and bullies his way to win number four, oshidashi, still in contention for the Yuusho!
Takamisakari vs. Bushuyama – Robocop, nearly missing the Bush at the tachiai, feels his way back on target to secure his right-hand-in, and walk George W. out, Yorikiri
Miyabiyama vs. Tochinonada – Flubby starts strong with the double-tsupari special, but can’t keep Nada in his sights.  Nada, a quick side step around to the rear, slaps the Flub to the sand, tsukiotoshi.
Gagamaru vs. Toyohibiki – Lady Gaga comes on strong getting Beaker to the bails.  But a quick turn and a kick in the head leaves our Lady rolling off the deep end with nothing but headache and sand his crack.  Beaker, tsukiotoshi win.
Tokitenku vs. Wakakoyu – Waka opens with a powerful two-handed shove to stand team Mongol up, only to pull the rug out and let the Mongol find the clay.  Waka, hatakikomi.
Tosayutaka vs. Tochinowaka – Tosa, easily pushed back by the Hyogo Giant, manages to get out of the line of fire.  Tosa uses one-foot disadvantage to get under Tochi and walk him out, yorikiri.
Asasekiryu vs. Shotenro – A lightning fast tachia and the two lock horns, with Asa getting his left hand on the belt.  With finesse resembling the other Mongol Asa, Asa gives the magic brush to the inside of the knee, pulls down on his left, and flips Shoten like a pancake.  A rare uchimuso win for Team Mongol.
Tamawashi vs. Yoshikaze – King Tama tries to bully Yoshi back from the start.  Yoshi dances around King Tama until an opening between tsuparis allows Yoshi a deep left hand. Yoshi capitalizes and attempts a uwatenage belt throw, but falls just short and must settle for a yoriatoshi win.
Kyokutenho vs. Tochinoshin – Team Mongol and and Noshin lock up, migi-yotsu, and dance around for a bit. Noshin with a quick Uwatenage fake gets Tenho stumbling.  Noshin applies the final push and walks Tenho out, yorikiri.
Okinoumi vs. Aran – Alan gets caught cheating with a sorry henka attempt, giving up his low posture and setting himself up for a belt-less arm-throw, sukuinage.
Wakanosato vs. Takekaze – Team Akita puts on an exciting show with a strong tachiai, some nice defense to set up a quick side-step.  Waka misses with his tsupari attack, stumbles over to the bails, and Team Akita runs across the ring to help his friend out, oshidashi.  Team Akita at 2-2.
Kotoshogiku vs. Kakuryu – ROBBED!  The Geek gets Bitch-Henka’d by the Fish, hitting nothing but air, then clay, and coming to rest in the arms of The Sneak, ringside.  The Fish wins it, homowaza.
Toyonoshima vs. Kisenosato – The Blink toys with the little Toyo, and shoves him back to the bails and out.  Flawless oshidashi victory for the Blink.
Baruto vs. Aminishiki – The Sneak bounces off the Estonian Wall, and quickely finds himself enjoying the expensive seats at the Kokugikan.  Bart with the win, Oshidashi.
Kitataiki vs. Kaio – Old Man Kaio, having to work for his wins now, wraps up with his smaller opponent and holds on for dear life as he soldiers on.  Old Man squeezes another win out, Yorikiri.
Kotooshu vs. Homasho – Oshu catches Cigar Shop with his face, and then repeatedly exchanges headbutts like it’s a powwow.  Oshu forgets that Red Indians are unable to feel fear or pain, and butts himself dizzy.  Cigar Shop moves in for the kill, getting under Oshu’s left arm and forcing our lazy giant out, sideways yorikiri.
Goeido vs. Harumafuji – A head-cracking tachia starts these two has-beens off to the most intense match of the day.  Eido getting the Mongol to stumble before applying the judo-chop to the back of the head.  The Mongol goes airborne, but manages to Eido’s leg and twist it out from under him.  Eido goes airborn, and the two come down on their backs.  The gumbai favors the Js today, and Eido moves one up on Team Mongol, high-flying Hatakikomi.
Hakuho vs. Tochiozan – Hak and The King go chest to chest, just before Elvis goes on the run.  Hak in hot pursuit, tries to catch him, but catches nothing but sand as Elvis had since left the building.  Hak gladly takes number four, yorikiri.
That’s it for day four.  De Gama comin at cha with day five!  Try not to get any on you!

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