Folks, welcome to Day 3 sumo action. I dare say I’m stuck with the dirty work in that I have to report the first few days this basho, and the other fellas get to be with you when the yusho race starts to heat up. Nevertheless, some quality bouts today, and I’ll limit my comments to these.
M10E Wakanosato (2-0) vs. M11E Shotenro (0-2): head-to-head was 5-2 in Waka’s favor. Today, Sho charged with hands in Waka’s armpits, but Waka lifted up at the elbows which allowed him to stifle Sho’s charge. The two then stood motionless whispering sweet nothings in each others ears for a while, occasionally trying out new ballroom dance moves. Just about at the point where the gyoji texting on his iPhone to wait this one out, Waka came in close to Sho and whipped to the right using his left leg to off-balance Sho and tossed him in some sort of spinning ballerina move. Shotenro was grinning after the bout, but it must have been something Waka said because it sure wasn’t the quality of his sumo…or he might have just had gas. Underarm throw win by the Aomorian, who improves to 3-0. The Mongol is also perfect, at 0-3.
M9E Tokitenku (1-1) tried out another ketaguri on M8E Tochinoshin (2-0), but missed completely. Tochinoshin wasn’t able to capitalize completely and the two locked up migiyotsu. Tochi tried lifting the Mongol a couple of times, but Toki’s no lightweight. Giving up on the heavy lifting, Noshin went for an over-arm throw. Toki countered by using his right leg to pick up on Noshin’s left. They two came down to the clay together, both prima donnas laying down a hand first to protect their beautiful faces. Gyoji gave it to Noshin, and the boys in black came in for a conference to decide who’s less pussy. They confirmed the decision, and Tochinoshin picks up a 3rd win, while Tokitenku falls to 1-2.
SE Toyonoshima (1-1) vs. KW Aminishiki (1-1): 16-13 all time, falling Toyo’s favor. Hell of a spirited bout between these two with a history. Sneaky quickly earned himself a right-hand outside which could guide the Tugboat in front of him, but the Tugboat also earned himself a deep left-hand inside to counter the Sneak. Tugboat slipped his left up on Sneaky’s shoulder and pulled forward for a sweet belt-less arm throw off the dohyo. Toyonoshima improves to 2-1 while the Sneak falls to 1-2.
M2E Myogiryu (1-1) vs. OW Baruto (2-0): the Estonian couldn’t manage a grip of Myogi’s hot, sweaty, voluptuous body, but still managed to barrel his chest into the youngin’ and oshidashi-ed him out of the ring. Bart’s on top of the fresh leader board with a 3-0 start. Myogiryu has a respectable 1-2.
OE Harumafuji (1-1) vs. M1E Aran (0-2): head-to-head was 7-2, leaning the Haruma way. Haruma kept lower than Aaron from the tachai and on from there, with his head buried in the Russian’s chest. Once Haruma gained an outside left on the belt, he swiftly swung Aaron out of the ring. A purdy force-out win by the Mongol, who is at 2-1 while Aaron stays perfect at 0-3.
SW Goeido (2-0) vs. OW Kakuryu (1-1): head-to-head is 8-4, in the Kak’s favor. The Kak had a hell of a rhythmic bitch slap routine going while Goeido simply flailed his arms around like he was in the mosh-pit. The Kak finished off the Kansai Kid with an easy “suck it” slap down win. The Kak rises to 2-1 while Goeido falls to the same record.
OE Kotooshu (1-1) vs. M3E Toyohibiki (0-2): well, let’s see…the Eurozeki secured a right outside and went immediately to the throw (Beeker had no grip). The Eurozeki’s throw resulted in both men spinning down and Beeker flying out of the ring. Gyoji pointed in Beeker’s direction and the boys in black sat with their hands in each other’s pockets. Long story short; Eurozeki was robbed a win, and falls to 1-2.
M2W Gagamaru (1-1) vs. OW Kotoshogiku (2-0): history goes to the Geek 3-0. Gaga stayed square, but the Geek had a very effective hug-n-chug which simply out-powered Gentleman Gaga. The Geek improves to 3-0 while Gaga falls to 1-2.
And then there were two…YE Hakuho (1-1) took on challenger in the west M1W Takayasu (0-2). Takayasu did his homework, and obviously studied the tape of Aminishiki’s win over the Yokozuna on Shonichi. Today Takayasu was all about the backtracking. Hakuho drove and Takayasu retreated. Then they turned directions and Hakuho charged more while Takayasu backpedalled even more until his foot stepped out. Today’s win by the Yokozuna wasn’t what he did to Takayasu; it was what he was trying to do as his opponent was in reverse the entire time. After the bout was clearly finished, Hakuho made things right with one fun little dame-oshi, as if to tell Takayasu “you don’t run from me—I own you…bitch.”
They say an Irishman isn’t drunk until he can’t move. Tomorrow we’ll figure out whether Connolly can type.