With a big red nasty whisky at my side
Shirakami winds blowin hot from the north
And we were born to sweat
Roll up the windows
Turn on d’AC
Crank up Funky Monkey Babys
Don’t let the music stop
We’re gonna sweat it till
We just can’t sweat it no mo’
From the Chokai to Kosaka
From the Westside to the eastside
Everybody’s very sweaty
Cause the sun is shining all damn time
Looks like another humid day
GOD DAMN JAPAN …… god damn it!
GOD DAMN JAPAN …… at-su-i!
GOD DAMN JAPAN…」
And as I sit here in only my boxers thinking how in the world that came into my head, I figure a better course would be to get the hypothetical massage lotion cause someone’s gon’ git oil’d!
Asahisho vs. Kimurayama
Seeming that I don’t recognize Asahisho and really anything that has Asashi in the name we all know is mild at best, I come into this bout thinking amateur hour has come to Makuuchi. Asahi doesn’t help my opinion by false starting like a champ the first go. But its always nice to see a kimura go down. Not to go into so much detail… Asahi eagerly goes in and pushes Kimmy up. At this point Kimmy goes slightly offensive and tries to use his mass. However, Asahi shoots to the side and applies pressure to out the Kimmy.
Asasekiryu vs. Sadanofuji
The bout starts pretty slow with Sada trying to get some grip and Asasekiryu losing a bit of ground. Eventually, Asa lounges his arms to reach Sada’s belt when he’s relatively close to the edge and manages to force a switch of positions. Asa lets himself lose ground in order to attempt an unsuccessful side take down. This resulted in Asa with his back to the edge near the middle of the ring. With his arm on the belt Asa again attempts a one handed throw but midway through Sada knees the ground.
Kyokutenho vs. Takanoyama
This might be the first time I’ve seen Takanoyama not done any funny business that I had to report. This one was pretty straight forward: they go into the tachiai.. Taka can’t seem to find a grip. Taka locks Kyoku’s arm and Kyoku pushes forward. Taka goes out before he has a chance to run around.
Yoshikaze vs. Chiyotairyu
I don’t know what disappoints me more… the obvious henka from Yoshi or that hes M10 and has to resort to that for a win. Maybe during off season sumo you should pay attention to the sumo rather than watch the baseball game of buttfuck-koukou. That being said had he not I wouldn’t have met the guy, but that is my struggle.
Takayasu vs. Daido
Pretty entertaining bout by Daido inasmuch that he tried so hard to win yet lose. Daido starts pretty far back and they both go into tachiai strong. Taka stiff-necks Daido straight up and forces him to lose ground. Daido miraculously escapes to the side and desperately attempts a weak side push out. Taka quickly recovers and meets Daidy head on. Daidy bull-rushes Taka around the ring until Taka plants his ground and uses Daidy’s momentum against himself to throw Daidy down.
Wakanosato vs. Shotenro
Shotenro looked strong on this one despite his score. Shotenro starts, I think, with the intention of tsuppari’ing Waka, but Waka kind of slightly latches on to the hands to stop a rapid attack. Shoten switches to straight up pushes Waka upright and back. Similar to a wave when breaking, Shoten uses the pushing to building up and at the instant Waka fights back Shoten moves back and takes Waka down.
Okinoumi vs. Masunoyama
Okinoumi was a champ on this bout. Masu starts with a barrage of tsuppari that would only stiffen E. Honda. Okinoumi narrowly escapes while still having a grip. I think what Masu did wrong was at this point he puts his hand on Oki’s head to attempt some takedown in vain. This allowed fully recover and drive Masu out.
Tochiozan vs. Tokitenku
Nothing much to be said about this one. Ozan had the momentum and clean yorikiri’ed the guy out.
Aminishiki vs. Toyohibiki
From the start of this bout it seemed like the Sneak had it. He got in low and close and started the thrusting we all know and love. However what comes into question is how they fell out of the ring. When taking Toyo out, The Sneak was not completely straight on and had his hand out (probably to prevent further injury if he landed badly on his leg). So when the monoii was called, I’m guessing it was because of whether the hand and bad leg hit the ground before Toyo did. It was ruled that it was not… I guess the drink rounds on the Sneak tonight guys.
Kaisei vs. Goeido
At tachiai Kaisei gets the inner grips and despite Goeido’s attempts has more or less the advantage through out the bout. Kaisei pushes Goeido back near the edge and attempts a side takedown which Goeido counters with a weak one hand throw. Kaisei easily recovers and struggles to fight for a grip. Kaisei eventually tries something and Goeido tries another one handed throw causing both to fall with Kaisei the victor.
Myogiryu vs. Shohozan
Rather funny bout that starts with Shohoz tsuppari’ing. Basically Myogy fights off the hands and tries to move forward. Shohoz doesn’t change strat and Myogy gives way and moves to the side and takes Shohoz down.
Harumafuji vs. Tochinoshin
A henka by Haruma for the win. Maybe a semi henka, but devious nonetheless. They go in at tachiai, and right before fully meeting Haruma henkas… completely taken off guard Tochi never recovers and loses.
Aran vs. Kakuryu
Interesting play by Aran. He immediately tries to prevent Kakuryu from getting any grip while not really getting one himself. However while Aran is locking Kak’s arms, Kak sneaks a grab in. While trying to get another hand in, Kak notices Aran losing ground and pushes him eventually out.
Gagamaru vs. Kisenosato
Weak display by Lady GaGa. He comes in real hard thrusting like its no ones business. The thing is he never causes Kise to lose ground… what actually happens is while all this Kise is slowly pushing him back then out.
Kotooshu vs. Toyonoshima
I honestly feel bad for Oshu on this one because he seemed to quite possibly get hurt. Oshu starts in hard pushing even neck arming Toyo. Even though all of this Toyo pulls off a grip on Oshu’s shoulders while Oshu is flirting with the belt. Oshu tries to take Toyo down and they fall in limbo like a foot off the ground with only their limbs entangled keeping them propped off the ground. Toyo removes his hands from grip and applying pressure on Oshu’s shoulder blade down. Oshu hits the ground and slowly/painfully accepts defeat.
Hakuho vs. Aoiyama
Nothing surprising. Hakuho –> Harite –> Aoi plops on the ground.
Well that’s it for today’s sumo and it smells like de Gama’s got another pot of coffee going for Tomorrow!