Ladies and Gentlemen, day 5 was not a great day for me. My morning train was cancelled due to snow and I had to ride in an over-heated taxi with 3 salarymen, one of whom fell asleep and was all over my 1/3 of the back seat… reminded me of Bertrum last weekend in Shizukuishi, only without the “man, I love you guys” talk. It snowed like a bastard all day (like it has been for the past month or so.) Work sucked, and one of the guys decided that chatting me up after hours was more important than my after work drinks with a friend. Train home was delayed by 30 mins, so I missed out on an extra beer, and I had forgotten to go to the grocery store, so dinner tonite sucked… café Lawson special and a left over Asahi clear (mild at best.) I was about to pop a gasket when I saw a news to report on the situation in Algeria instead of sumo, which had disappeared from the TV line-up. Thank god it was just pushed back to 2:45am… the things I do for you guys. Oh well, still never missed a report yet.
Miyabiyama v Wakakoyu – With Yabbers’ current record it will be a miracle to see him not be demoted to juryo. Today don’t look good for the veteran as Wakakoyu is just a younger version of him. Seriously looked like a mirror. Both guys plying their push push pull wares, but the younger man came out on top. 0-5, 2-3
Tamaasuka v Takarafuji – Two guys that, let’s be fair, no one really cares about. Takarafuji hasn’t ironed his stuff out yet, and Tama-ass-sucker never will. Takara got inside and once he got the outside grip he sealed it up. 2-3, 4-1
Kotoyuki v Asahisho – I’ve been keeping my eye on Asahisho, I think he’s good stuff for makuuchi. Made short work of an overstretched Kotoyuki. 1-4, 2-3
Shotenro v Tamawashi – GUNNING!!!!!!!!!! Don’t think I didn’t hear you trying to steal my Shotenro arm wrestling story from my warm up to tickle Murray Johnson pink on shonichi. I told Connelly to text you a cease and desist notice, but he just laughed instead. I’m watching you, John Gunning. Immediately to the side and an arm bar for Mawashi, Tenro turned it around to an advantage and got the win by flipping the arm bar against him into an otsuke for him. 4-1, 2-3 (and a big tsk tsk for Gunning.)
Sadanofuji v Tochinowaka – The two top dogs from Juryo last basho meet in Makuuchi. Much better stamina from Waka Waka Waka, but the nodowa had him up and out. 3-2, 4-1
Daido v Fujiazuma – Two more guys no one cares about. Lots of pushing from Fuji kept Daido off balance. 1-4, 3-2
Wakanosato v Takekaze – Two veterans with a 7-15 record in favor of Kaze. Pretty unusual stuff from Take, went in with a morozashi and wrapped up Waka and with his lower center of gravity and quick movement he got the okuri on Waka. Rare. 2-3, 1-4
Yoshikaze v Okinoumi – Interesting that Don Juan has never lost to Yoshikaze. Yoshi can usually throw even wily veterans off with his erratic movements and pulls and thrusts from all areas. Good bout though, Oki kept Yoshi wrapped up and stemmed the tide. It was touch and go for Don Juan for a bit but with gumption, moxy, and more power he yorikiried his way out of a tight situation. 0-5, 3-2
Kitataiki v Masunoyama – As we all know Masu can’t last very long with his respiratory/circulatory issues, and Kitataiki likes to keep things going and do it nice and slow, with a bit of romance in it. Like the difference between tantric sex and a date rape. Today Kitaiki came in with the date rape grabbing a left hand inside and an otsuke and Masu limped off the Dohyo. 5-0, 2-3
Takayasu v Chiyotairyu – I want to like Chiyotairyu… I really do… and sumo like that doesn’t help his case. Push push pull, over, win for Chiyo. 3-2, 4-1
Tochinoshin v Tokitenku – Tochinoshin is finally starting to show some of the gumption and skill that got him up into joii and sanyaku, within sight of the ozeki barrier. Today was a hiccup, Nasty henka by Toki snaps the Georgian’s wining streak. 4-1, 2-3
Aoiyama v Ikioi – Can’t really say anything bad about these guys, except that Aoiyama clearly needs some kind of Bro or Man-zire. Ikioi was out of the gates with a great morozashi that The Tits had no answer for. 3-2, 2-3
Gagamaru v Kaisei – Both these guys seem to have been doing a bit of a see-saw after busting into the makuuchi division. Which one will this basho be for Lady Gaga and Sasquatch? Head down and good forward motion for Gaga looked good, but his old enemy lateral motion fucked him over as Bigfoot lumbered to the side at the bales, then wandered back into the California forest looking confused and hairy. 2-3, 4-1
Aran v Kyokutenho – After a decent showing last basho, Aran is putting up… I wouldn’t say decent stuff, but it’s better than the recent 15-day-drooling sessions we’ve seen recently. Aran lost the tachiai but got Migiyotsu with left hand outside. Kyoku answered back with his own outside grip. This was a bit of a power battle with Aran coming out on top. 2-3, 1-4
Shohozan v Baruto – Two rikishi I really enjoy watching, unfortunately Bart is working through an injury and has had a bit of a rough go, and Shoho is all up in the meat grinder. Harite from Bart and his usual over the back grip. Things looked dangerous as Shohozan had all the momentum, but Bart spun around on his good knee and tossed the smaller man out. 1-4, 3-2
Aminishiki v Kotoshogiku – Fuckin’ Sneakers… For so long I was indifferent to him, but I am really starting to love this guy. Charged in gave a slap to one side and pivoted to the same side slapping down the ozeki. That’s a win over every ozeki he’s faced. That’s two interviews where he’s not even close to winded. He even opened his eyes in this one. 3-2 each.
Kotooshu v Goeido – I will take a shit in a Macy’s window if Goeido get’s promoted to Ozeki, it would make me so angry. And with today’s bout, I’m one step closer to dropping my trousers next to some mannequins. Kotooshu is just a poop tower, letting Goeido inside from the tachiai and being so easy led off balance. Although it looked like Eido’s hand touched down before Oshu broke the plane of the dohyo. Whatever. 2-3, 4-1
Toyonoshima v Kakuryu – YAY! I got to see Toyo’s tawara stretching exercises. Bent over like a fucking banana with Kak’s thrusting, but unlike a banana he… didn’t …come back …. to fight again…. another day. That really felt like that analogy was going to work somehow. 1-4, 3-2
Kisenosato v Myogiryu – Everything I need or want to say about Kise, has been said to death by me and everyone else, so here is the bout. Kise fought off Yogi’s inside grip got a thrusting attack going and scored his own inside grip pivoting the outside arm up and following Yogi’s momentum, the using the inside arm to Yogi’s chest and thrust out the sekiwake. 3-2, 2-3
Toyohibiki v Harumafuji – Past few basho Beeker has been showing a bit more sparkle. He took Haks down back in Aki, and has been putting up decent figures… just not as good as Harry’s. Head butt and a quick deep outside for Haruma with a pivot left and a quick uwatedashinage. Beeker was WAY WAY WAY too far forward. 0-5, 5-0
Hakuho v Tochiozan – seeing Tochiozan not collapsing at komusubi makes me think he’s been eating his Tochi-O’s. Good tachiai for Ozan, he nearly got the slip on Hakuho, but I guess Hakuh-O’s are a much BETTER part of this BALANCEd breakfast. 4-1, 2-3
That’s all for me for day 5, Bertrum will, pour you a drink, hold your hand, and whisper sweet play by plays in your ear for day 6.