Natsu Basho 2013: Day 2

Greetings slippery ones, it’s your ol’ pal Dick Montana, here with another day of sumo and another day of getting kicked out of a convenience store for not wearing pants.

Daley mentioned in day one that he would be interested in seeing how the injured Masunoyama would perform this basho, and Day 2 has him performing like Connelly when he gets in the bedroom, a swift hard charge in, followed by a disappointing withdrawal from a hairy Brazilian. At any rate, Masunoyama goes 2-0 and Kaisei goes the opposite.

After an exchange of tsuppari at the tachi-ai, Takayasu found himself getting pushed back and backpedaled after he thought he saw an opportunity for a hikiotoshi. That favorite boner of Degama’s, Yoshikaze, kept his balance and kept takayasu on the run for a few seconds. Crucially, after Takayasu got back into the center of the ring after a spin around, he stopped and braced himself for another chest bump. After a bit of wriggling, Takayasu got hidari-yotsu and wrangles Yoshi out of the wring. Good strategery from Taka today.

Neither Takarafuji nor Toyonoshima have given me much to write about as of late, but this match was too crazy for me not to comment. How in the bajeezuz could Toyonoshima get away with a win after he blatantly grabbed ‘fuji’s topknot? To be fair to the judges, they could have been watching downtown abby instead of the match. That… would be at least be laziness rather than blatant negligence.

Bart… didn’t look injured, although Tochinoshin looked like he was about to be after taking an uwatenage from Baruto. Tochinoshin didn’t even look upset after the match, walking away with a face that said “yeah… watcha gonna do?”

At first I thought I was drunk when I saw that Kise‘s opponent today was Kitataiki. It turns out I was, but that’s really besides the point isn’t it. How the green belted wrestler got up here is beyond me, and his piss poor sumo today showed it. Sure he showed some spirit when Kise drove him to the bails, and he managed to stay in by his toes for a few seconds to the cheers of the crowds, but Kise was just bored. Easy win for the Ozeki.

One thing I will give the Eurozeki, the man does have balance. Gotaro leanred that the hard way today. Ozeki’s are 2-0 for the day.

The geek has heart. Heart and a move that seems to work on a larger than it should number of wrestlers. Oki goes down and the Ozeki’s are 3-0 for the day.

Kakuryu realy should have taken a page out of Takayasu’s book today. After getting shoved around the ring by much younger Tochiozan, the Mongol decided it would be a good strategy to abandon all hope of confrontation and run around like a little bitch (which I believe is the technical term for that maneuver, Valentine will have to look it up for me.) Well, the strategy paid off for him, and the Ozeki’s go 4-0 today, but I doubt he won over any fans.

Aminishiki bent too far forward on his taped right knee, Hakuho took advantage and tossed him to the ground. Some say Hakuho’s sumo is boring. I say it’s a lot like watching someone draw a circle. It’s a boring shape, but it’s still fun to watch someone draw it perfectly.

Haruma over charged by one step at the tachi-ai, allowing Myogiru to get an inside hand and give him the pushing advantage. Haruma was on defensive the rest of the match, and his last-ditch slap down attempt was of no use against the purple belt who had too good of a footing to go down. Myogi gets a kinboshi and I hope that he will be able to get his KK this time to get a special prize.

That’s about it for today folks. Make sure to strap on your adult diapers tomorrow, because Creswell is bringing the shit.

-Richard Montana

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