Ever since I was a little boy swinging on hammock under the tropic with a cerveza in one hand and a fat Cuban in my other – before you get the wrong idea … no it wasn’t my cousin – I had a dream. Some boys may dream about sailing the high seas looking for fine, shiny booty. Some boys may dream of being kicked out of a foreign land on the cause of an intoxicated vehicular blunder. Some boys may dream of growing a patch of potatoes to send back to their famined home land. Some boys may dream to finally have the balls to drink a bourbon straight and not mixed with soda in a can. Some boys may dream to shed their dragon shirts and khakis pants for something a bit for fresh. However this little boy was to follow in his father’s footsteps. This boy wanted to do the most important job in the world: clean the world’s shit straight from the metaphorical toilet just as his dad does as a highly valued janitorial staff. And now its time to put on my gloves, strap on my boots, and wade through all this shit. So join me as I flush myself down into the sewer that is sumo.
Azumaryu vs. Masunoyama
This was some what terrible for Masunoyama. At the tachiai Masu slowly pushes Azu back and up. He never really quickens the tempo of his thrusting arms allowing Azu to scurry to the side. In efforts to keep up some kind of pressure he follows Azu and eventually his leg folds. Masu is on the ground with his second loss.
Gagamaru vs. Ikioi
From the beginning both kind brace for impact position their arms for an attack. Gaga gets his arms in and pushes outward (hand to Iki’s neck). Once Gaga completely pushed Iki up, Gaga rushes in from a grip. At this point Iki locks Gaga’s arm pivots to the side and pushes him down. Ikioi takes down the beast.
Tokitenku vs. Toyohibiki
I was hoping for more of a match, but Toyo from the get-go just bulldozes Tokitenku straight back and out. A nice display of power by the guy.
Shotenro vs. Jokoryu
Very similar to the previous bout … Shotenro displays his authority over Joko within seconds of the bout and Shotenro gives Joko a season pass to the loserville.
Chiyotairyu vs. Takekaze
What is going on with these bouts? Chiyotairyu at tachiai gets his two hands on the shoulders of Takekaze. With one push Chiyotairyu gets Take up and down. To be fair it probably isn’t so hard considering Take’s size. At this point Take tries to scoot to the side and swap Chiyo’s hands away. Chiyo was having none of it and keep the pressure on until Take was out of the ring.
Yoshikaze vs. Kyokutenho
A mildly interesting bout by the Yosh. Yoshi came into tachiai arms in and slightly angled probably trying to push Kyoku up while moving to the side. However, Kyoku defended it well by keeping Yoshi at arms length. Once face to face Yoshi goes in for a belt grip and fails. Kyoku counteracts by getting two underarm grips and side tackling Yoshi. Yoshi frantically survives only to move around Kyoku and eventually fall to the ground. Kyoku wins.
Shohozan vs. Toyonoshima
Shohozon henkas straight up and tsupparis Toyonoshimmy to the edge. Toyonoshimmy flails like a bird on one leg then goes out.
Takarafuji vs. Aoiyama
Nothing really interesting here. Aoiyama despite his taped up leg dominates Takara by tsuppari’ing. After a several seconds of Takara trying to get passed the arm onslaught, one of Aoiyama hands lands on Takara’s neck and Aoi pulls Takara down to the ground.
I wasn’t going to report on Bart’s bout but it was a decent one. I think he deserves a quickie. Bart overpowers Okinoumi from the start but doesn’t quite finish the job at the edge. Bart gets a grip and twirls Oki around in circles until Oki falls. Keep up the good work Bart!
Myogiryu vs. Kotooshu
Holy shit… Myogiryu gets in low and Kotooshu as usual has a high stance. Myogiryu pushes forward and Kotooshu couldn’t really stop him. Oshu gets pushed to the edge and out. Seemingly easy win for Myo.
Kotoshogiku vs. Goeido
I’m a little hesitant to call it a henka but fuck it. Goeido henkas Geeku pushing against Geeku’s back. Goeido quickly tsuppari’s around Geeku never really allowing Geeku to regain ground. Goeido gets ahold of Geeku from the side and that is Geeku done.
Kitataiki vs, Kakuryu
Nothing much to say about this one. Kita just looked like a turd out there. At tachiai Kak tries to get a belt grip but Kita has his face and body down. Kak quickly changes to slapping his arms down on Kita’s back. Kita goes down.
Kisenosato vs. Aminishiki
Lets just say Kise pushes the Sneek to the side and out. It was really a pathetic display…
Tochiozan vs. Harumafuji
From the start Haruma looks good… He fended off some grip attempts and got a belt grip himself. Tochi pulls a maneuver and gets himself two inside underarm grips. Haruma reaches his arm around Tochi’s neck to side throw the guy but fails. I guess this put him in a weird position and Tochi pulls him forward as he releases his grip. Haruma loses his balances and plops on the floor. Nice win for Tochi.
Hakuho vs. Tochinoshin
Beautiful! Hakuho gets a belt grip, pulls Noshin in and low, twirls Noshin a bit, and rolls him on the floor! Nice Win for Haks
So the 5-0 count is:
Hakuho, Kisenosato, Kakuryu, Aoiyama, and Tokitenku.
Lets see who survives through tomorrow with everybody’s favorite plastic, Creswell!