Hatsu Basho 2013 day 6

MatagisawaWelcome back for day 6.  Sorry for the delay, computer issues can be a bitch.  Let’s jump right in, as I can’t be bothered to make a witty comment.  Except for the following, which is not as much witty as an ad hominem attack… Bertrum, England hasn’t been relevant for over 200 years.  Ring-a-ding-ding, here we go.

Has anyone else but me noticed that Daido looks like a Hana Barabara cartoon? like grape ape or something? That being said Magilla Gorilla gave away the inside way too easily, and Kaisei capitalized with a tight inside grip and kept Droopy the dog moving backward at a sideways angle for the win.

Wakanosato did hat he should have against Masunoyama and turned it into an immediate belt battle.  Masunoyama shouldn’t have been able to hold a candle, stamina-wise, to Waka.  But Waka ain’t as Waka as he used to be and Masunoyama was able to throw Furunosato down with a bit of effort.

Homarefuji came out, guns blazin’ against Kyokushuho.  The vicious tsuppari Shoe-ho at bay and unable to move forward, near the bales Homer abandoned ship and switched to the belt to finish things off.

Daikiho’s behavior in this bout as about as honorable as DeGama when left alone with Valentine’s beans and rice.  He hopped to the side hoping that Gagamaru’s momentum would do the work for him, and it almost worked.  Gaga was able to spin about and re-engage but Daikiho had gotten morozashi.  Gaga is bit too big to be moved so easily and was able to pull a kotenage to end the affair and get Daikiho outta that bread.

Azumaryu pulled a henka then basically ran away, which meant that Chiyotairyu didn’t have to embarrass himself with shit sumo.  Instead he got off clean with a forward moving oshidashi.

Chiyonokuni and Toyohibiki went tsuppari to thrust and at first it seemed a draw, which is saying something for Chiyonokuni, ’cause when Beeker is on he can be quite impressive.  However, Beeker happened to be on today and a few more powerful double palmed thrusts took care of the youngster.

Kyokutenho seemed determined to slap Chiyootori down, but 1000 generations of B-B-B-Bird wasn’t cooperating.  Gramps gets taken to the cleaners.

Both Tokitenku and Shotenro linked up with migiyotsu grips and despite numerous attempted throws by Shotenro, Tokitenku was able to seal up this win via bread and butter yorikiri.  I don’t recall seeing a ketaguri attempt this basho, but it’ll happen, maybe not day 7, maybe not day 8, but it’s as certain as Connolly passing out in a dirty snack bar.

Sadanofuji had DeGamas on-again off-again lover, Yoshikaze, on the ropes with some windmill tsuppari, but the slippery (thanks to DeGama) Yoshi slipped to the side and thrust down Sub-par-nofuji.

Shohozan brutally assaulted Jokoryu with tsuppari then used the forward moving advantage to execute a well timed hikiotoshi.  I liked the Joker better as Sakumayama.  Some tree-huggers comment on a rikishi’s sportsmanship in helping a guy up after a bout (Daly, I’m looking at you), but the lack of respect shown by Shohozan to his defeated enemy was exactly what I like in a rikishi.

Aoiyama has been looking pretty good this basho, but today looked like a bit of pro wrestling.  Ikioi shifted to the side and game the Tits a bit of an ass slap and the Breasted Bulgarian dove right to the clay.

Take one: Toyonoshima meets his eternal enemy, confident tsuppari.  Fujiazuma pushes Shawty back, but at the bales Shawty sidesteps.  Close up on Toyo’s foot as it meets the ground at the same time as Fujiazuma’s under-balanced body.  Fade to men in black.  Torinaoshi.

Take two:  Toyonoshima tries something new.  He pushes back.  Fujiazuma is confused, starts to backpeddal.  Toyo moves in, grabs the belt and ends the match in typical style.

Finally Kitataiki and Takarafuji are up against an opponent they can handle.  Both were able to grab a hidariyotsu, but Kitataiki was the on moving forward.  Takara noticed he was a bit high and was in trouble, so when almost at the bales he tried a shitatenage, but Kitataiki counter threw from a better position dumping Harumafuji’s little buddy into Kisenosato’s lap.

Baruto had a plan against Tochiozan he came right in at the tachiai locking up Tochi’s left arm and wrenching up and back trying for a kotenage.  Tochiozan however was lower, inside, moving forward, and pushing up and back for the win.  I never said Bart’s plan was good, I just said it was a plan.

After a brief mata Kisenosato charged right into Tochinoshin, who decided that instead of reaching for the belt as he usually does, that he would try for a half hearted slap down attempt on the way out.  Either Kise is absolutely brilliant this basho, or the kyokai have their eye on a Japanese yusho.

Like he always does, Aminishiki got inside on Kotoosh.  Kotooshu freaked out a bit and Sneakers ran him out for win #1.

Geeku went directly in trying to get an inside grip on Myogiryu, but Yogi got both hands inside.  The Geek was unable to get his hug’n’chug going from a double outside grip, and with a bit of elbow grease Yogi was able to work the Geek out for another big win.

Kakuryu was Ike and Goeido was Tina.  Eido had the Kak back but, the Kak fought back with vigor and slapped down the “hope” at the bales.

Okinoumi could have had this one.  He had Hakuho’s right arm locked up after the tachiai, but instead of pulling quickly back and to the left to catch the Yokozuna off guard, the moving quickly for a tottari or kotenage.  Instead he was for a hand pull down.  Which was a big big big boner. (Montana, I’m not looking at you, and Briton-Meyer, no one ever remembers you.)

Aran’s actions here were about as honorable as mine and Valentine’s were when we took our buddy’s unattended iphone (with the camera function on) into the bathroom at a dirty snack bar on two separate occasions.  BIG henka by the Russian, which almost worked, but Haruma regained and smashed the frantic Russian who went slapdown slapdown slapdown all the way into the ringside judge.

6-0 rikishi: Hakuho, Kisenosato, Kakuryu

5-1 rikishi: Ikioi, Tokitenku, Aoiyama

4-2 rikishi that matter:  Harumafuji, Geek, Eido,

That concludes my late little report.  Sorry again for the delay.  Who will be here tomorrow?  God only knows, I just hope it’s not Mr. I-love-Kimurayama Briton-Meyer.


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