Osaka Basho 2014 Day 9

Gents and Ladies, Butterballs and Meat-slabs, welcome to Day 9 of the Osaka tournament.  Goldstein here, back again to bring you due coverage like a warm mawashi.  Our two Yokozunae lead the pack with Ozeki Kakuryuu and M11 Oosunaarashi one behind the game.  Endou is batting .500, and Kotooshuu is all kinds of not-even-trying.

Yeah, I’m slow on the pick-up today.  I want to do something in honor of my first coverage of an Osaka tournament, but I’ve yet to visit the place.  Or comprehend the dialect.  And that’s got me thinking.  Whenever a Kansai dialect is dubbed over into English, they turn it into a Brooklyn accent or a Southern accent.  I’m not entirely sure why.  But as I’m a Texas boy, I think I’ll settle on the latter.

Osaka Basho 2014 Day 1 and 2 recap

Greetings.  As any of you who have lived in Japan know, this is the busy season.  The fiscal year is winding down, co-workers are getting transferred and new ones are coming in, and there are a plethora of farewell and welcome parties to attend.  Needless to say, this has one hell of an effect on the way things are run here at S&S.  As it appears, ol’ Creswell is holding down the fort all by his lonesome for the time being.  So ya’ll’re gonna have to deal with it.  Let’s dive into day 1 and 2.

Osaka Basho 2013 Wind-up

I was going to write “Haru (spring) Basho” for the headline here, but I don’t have much reason to.  Up here in the frozen north of Akita (especially in my neck of the woods), things are still as cold an snowy as ever.  Spring is the time of new beginnings, and although the weather ain’t doing anything new, there are some interesting things going on in sumo.  Hakuho, Harumafuji, Kakuryu, Kisenosato (maybe), and of course the golden boy of the Japanese media… Endo.

Hatsu Basho 2014 Day 14

Briton-Meyer here after some time away both from the blog and from Sumo.  As I sit down to write this, I am reminded why I haven’t been watching Sumo recently.  I have a puppy that eats everything within reach, and so I am constantly having to find that puppy and figure out what its eating off the floor.  Ok, I’m back.  It looks like it was some kind of paper, though it could have been spaghetti.  I know, I know, the guys here at the blog will think I’m making excuses, and to tell the truth, when I think about it, I somehow managed to write about Sumo back in the day when it was DeGama who needed watching when food and floor came together to form some glorious (and delicious?) mess (I miss you, man).

Hatsu Basho 2014 Day 12

Here I am again for day 12.  Although this basho was Hakuho’s first negative day yusho, there has been some decent stuff going on.  It seems that two goons have been hired to toss Kotooshu out of the ozeki saloon by the scruff of his neck on to the dusty road permanently; the era of the euro-zeki flung out after him, flopping down on his head like a cheap dress (or is Freakanomics going to prove right again?).  It seems that Endo and the Pharaoh have reached a basic level of competence in makuuchi.  Kisenosato has gotten more egg on his face than an ovaraptor, and Kyokutenho is still about to hang in at 39.  Here are today’s highlight bouts.

Hatsu 2014 Day 10

First off, apologies for the limited coverage from us this basho.  After 2 basho of me, Connolly and Goldstein scrambling to report on 15 days, we decided we needed to cut back.  Skeleton crew means fewer reports, but we’ll be there where it counts.  At least until Montana, Daly, DeGama, Berturm, Valentine, Chalmers, and Johnson can get their petty personal lives sorted and get back to what’s really important in life… no, not kids, or jobs, or small businesses… not hectic work schedules, nor higher education, nor sleep, nor spouses, nor important paperwork… but the most important thing to any REAL man.  Reporting on sumo.  Speaking of which here’s day 10.

Hatsu Basho 2014 Day 8

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first basho of 2014, the Hatsu. As always this basho is hosted in the Ryogoku Kokugikan in Tokyo. It started last Sunday, but we can only provide select coverage from today. I’ve chosen a select few bouts to cover today, the rikishi of interest.

E-M12 Gagamaru (5-2) vs W-M16 Satoyama (5-2)
Gagamaru notably weighs in under 200 kgs this basho, just. This is a positive thing because he was in need of being able to move faster. Only losing to Yoshikaze on Day 1, and Fujiazuma on Day 6 he comes into today with a 6-2 record.

Hatsu Basho 2014 Day 4

It’s a night of wrestling.  And drama.  Wrestlama.  They should come up with a better name for that.

Good evening, folks.  Goldstein here, introducing tonight’s main event.

They had their eyes on each other.  Two star-crossed heavy men in diapers on a date with destiny.  One, the big boy in the sumo equivalent of the scandalous red dress (leaving nothing up top to the imagination!), an ozeki with designs on the top spot.  He knew he had what it takes to win; he had the crowd on his side.  But his wily opponent… if Big Red let his guard down for just a moment, it could be all over.  That opponent, that dashingly ugly upstart in his baby blues—he could taste the glory, if only he could get the right grip.  He’s done it before.  Does he have another miracle in him?  The wind carries a whisper of his future; it says, “Kisenosatoooo.”  All eyes are on them.  Their intense but brief encounter would play out before millions—okay, let’s be honest, thousands—of eager eyes, four judges, and a noisy referee.  It all plays out in the ring.  The crowd is mildly excited.  The moment of truth nears.

Stay tuned for tonight’s episode:  Dohyo Really Love Me?

Kirishima vs Mitoizumi

This is the third, or turd in my mother tongue, and final trip back into history at some awesome fights that were. Be sure to check out the first two if you haven’t already (links below).

This was a great year for the construction industry here in Japan. It was the year the Great Seto Bridge opened, the Seikan Tunnel joined Honshu and Hakkaido by rail, and construction of the Tokyo Dome was completed. I assume many of you were born then, though perhaps only a few of you were here in Japan. It was the very last year of emperor Showa reign, Showa 63, what you and me might refer to as 1988.

Asahikuni vs Kaiketsu

This is the second of three historical bouts I’d like to revisit before the Natsu basho kicks off next week. Let me set the scene:

A magnitude 7.7 earthquake in Miyagi killed 28 people, and triggered a small tsunami. The island of Okinawa switched from driving on the right to driving on the “correct” side of the road. Japan won 70 gold medals at the Asian Games to claim the top spot. And Japan and China signed a treaty of peace and friendship. That “friendship” recently “celebrated” it’s 35 year anniversary, albeit 2 months late due to disputes over rocks, and in a very low-key manner. Yeah you guessed it, the 53rd year of the emperor Showa, sometimes known as the year of Our Lord 1978.

Takanohana vs Wajima

First off, I’d like to wish all our readers a very happy 2014.

A while back my bird showed me a TV program called Mariko & Ariyoshi no Ikari Shindo (マツコ＆有吉の怒り新党). Now, while I’m not at all a fan of this show, at the end of every episode they have a highlight on random interesting stuff. This particular episode focused on 3 breathtaking sumo bouts. Today I’d like to share the first of those bouts.

Let me take you back to the same year a Japanese solider by the name of Shoichi Yokoi was discovered in Guam, after having lived in hiding in the jungle for 28 years. The same year Okinawa was returned to Japan after having been occupied and governed by the US for 27 years. And the year an avalanche on Mt. Fuji took the lives of 19 climbers. Yes, ladies and gentlemen it was back in the 47th year of the emperor Showa, better known to you and me as 1972.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Sumo & Stogies!
Thanks for all the support during 2013.

Santa sumo by Vincent Grisanti at Tainted-Ink

Sumo Santa by K G’s (kriegfish) Bucket

2014 Hatsu (January) Banzuke

Here is the banzuke for the January Hatsu basho. It’s gonna kick off on Sunday, January 12th and run through to January 26th. Former ozeki Kotooshu Katsunori finds himself down in the sekiwake rank for the first time since 2005. Kimurayama and Higonojo both retain their exact same positions as last basho despite both failing to earn their kachi-koshi.

Also I included a picture of the actual banzuke that I found floating around the Internet, I’m sure most of you have seen a real one before, but for those of you who haven’t, this is what it looks like.

The official Makuuchi banzuke for the 2014 Hatsu (January) Basho

The official Juryo banzuke for the 2014 Hatsu (January) Basho

The official banzuke for the 2014 Hatsu (January) Basho

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 13

Thankless jobs: janitors, garbage men, hookers, and reporting on Sumo & Stogies.   I had a rough work week and really wanted to go to the bar tonite and toss back a few relaxed pints with some buddies.  However, S&S is a cruel mistress.  I got home from work at 10:00 and i’ve got this report plus our betting sheets for tomorrow, plus 2 work reports to get wrapped up, and I got a 9:00 call tomorrow morning.  So I apologize if I didn’t cover every facet of every bout.  If you want to blame someone, blame Daly, Valentine, Briton-Meyer, Chalmers, and Montana for having families.

That aside we go in to today with a slightly interesting situation developing.  Kise is at 10-2.  Hakuho and Harumafuji are at 12-0.  Kise has got Haruma today, and Hakuho tomorrow.  If he beats Haruma today, and Hakuho wins, then Kise beats Hakuho tomorrow, and Haruma wins tomorrow, they will be tied going into senshuraku.  Which is good for tension.  However, if Haruma loses today and tomorrow, and Hakuho wins both, then Hakuho gets his 29th yusho.  Conversely if Hakuho loses to Kakuryu and Kise and Haruma beats both of them, then Harry will get his 6th yusho.  We’ll see how it goes.

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 12

Welcome one and all to Day 12 of the Kyushu Tournament.  Goldstein reporting to you live from my couch.  I’m going to take a note from my people’s playbook and interpret something ex nihilo.  You know, 12 is a very auspicious number.  There were 12 ancient tribes of Israel, 12 disciples of Jesus, and 12 days of Christmas.  We have 12 months in a year, and days are cut into two sets of 12 hours.  Hours and minutes are calculated in pentanomials of 12.  12 people sit on a jury in the American legal system.  There are 12 signs of the zodiac (Western and Chinese); Shakespeare wrote Twelfth Night; Odin had 12 sons; there were 12 principal gods in the Greek pantheon; Shia Islam recognizes 12 Imams; Joe Namath wore the number 12, as did Jim Kelly; there are 12 function keys on your keyboard; they come Cheaper by the Dozen; there were 12 Angry Men; and I have wasted 12 minutes on this.

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 11

It’s good weather for ducks here in Akita. If you happen to be a duck however, I recommend steering clear for the time being though.

E-M13 Yoshikaze (4-6) vs W-M7 Endo (4-6)
Coming off a fine win from yesterday the crowd favourite Endo, against de Gama favourite Yoshikaze. Yoshikaze started fast with some nice tsuppari. But Endo got a left hand grip quite quickly and kept him in close. When Endo got the right hand shallow grip Yoshi tried to break Endo’s right grip, but failed, and then tried to break the left grip which only set himself up for a yorikiri loss.

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 10

Goldstein is back picking up another day of gut-jiggling action.  Is it just me, or does this tournament feel… somewhat mellow?  The question of whether Kotooshuucream will be demoted or not has been solved.  Will Endou perform alright at his new rank?  Eh, kinda.  Can Oosunaarashi handle makuuchi?  Eh, kinda.  Will Goueidou make an ozeki run?  Eh, kinda.  Will this be the tournament when Kisenosato gets his act together?  Nope.  Even Harumafuji isn’t giving us anything to grumble about.  People are injured; the juryo boys have come to visit; the yokozunas are leading.  It’s just kind of… comfortable, like a warm fireplace that won’t ever burn your house down or fill it with black smoke.  No, I’m not going anywhere with this, shut up.

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 9

I’m back again for day 9.  I think I might be a little bit cursed.  I just realized that for as many basho as I can remember in recent years I have picked the one or two of the guys that go kyujo for my fantasy sumo team.  Kotoyuki seemed like a lock.  I picked Yoshikaze last time for shits and giggles, and he was out for a fractured wrist.  In Nagoya it was Chiyonokuni.  In Natsu I had picked Baruto (that was the final injury that brought on his retirement), Haru was Chiyotairyu, and the list goes on.  I feel like maybe I should stop picking riksihi I like, and just pick guys like Tamaasuka, or Goeido, or Tenkaiho, or Goeido.  Anyway, I’ll leave the metaphysical ponderings on such twoddle to Connolly, and get on with the report. 

Kyushu Basho 2013 Day 8

Back from the grave thriller style though I know its not quite the right month, its everybody’s favorite spicy piece of filth: de Gama!  Sky rockets are in flight today as I am about to serve you some Afternoon Delight.  Its what I do… do you want a scone and some tea.  That’s right you do, you old bird.  Why don’t you just take this sausage [roll] and this god damn Americano.  Anyways I digress, I started off this morning feeling so polite until after I showered where I continued to rub sticks and stones together until the sparks ignite.  I would say that the thought of rubbing you is getting me so excited, however to be perfectly fair we all know the only person I thought of rubbing was in fact myself.  So without further ado lemme get that chili oil because this rubbing is about to get real spicy!

 

Kyusho Basho 2013 Day 7

Day 7 of Kyushu and I feel like we are in Nagoya.  There has been so much talk of a slippery dohyo being thrown around.  However, there might be some merit to it.  There were quite a few hatakikomis, and even more attempts.  The English side of the broadcast had my new favorite color commentator, John Gunning.  I’m not just saying this because he’s buddies with Connolly.  Genuinely he’s one of the few that both knows his stuff and isn’t insufferable.  He needs to work a bit on his comedic material though.  Take a cue from us, man… dick and fart jokes.  They make the world go ’round.  Now onto action for day 7.